UCHENNA C. OKONKWOR

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Friday 18 May 2018

Why is finding true love so difficult?



 We all have a desire to love and be loved. We experience different levels of love from parents, siblings, friends, and others. But most of us also want to find that special someone with whom we can share a deeper level of love. Finding true love can seem incredibly difficult, and it’s often hard to understand why. A big question to consider first is, “what is my definition of true love?” Understanding what we mean by “true love” can help us see what we’re really seeking and why it is or is not working.

Many societies use the word love very loosely. Love is often associated with intense feelings that, in truth, are self-centered and noncommittal. In many movies and TV shows, we see characters who follow their hormones and have sex before marriage. When “love” is shallowly rooted in pleasant emotions or physical feelings, it turns off as easily as it was turned on. There is nothing wrong with wanting to experience good emotions toward the person we love; however, if that is the foundation of the relationship, the relationship is in trouble. If the kind of “love” we see demonstrated in today’s sex-saturated culture is what we’re looking for, no wonder it seems difficult to find; it’s not true love we’re after but an experience that, by nature, can’t last for long.

The Bible gives a much different picture of love. True love is of God—in fact, He is love (1 John 4:8)—and He’s the One who put the need to love and be loved in us. Therefore, understanding His design for love is crucial. True love, according to the Bible, is rooted in sacrifice, commitment, and an impulse to benefit the loved one (see John 15:13). God’s love for us took Him to the cross. We know for certain that Jesus was not experiencing “happy” emotions on His way to the cross (Luke 22:42–44). The Bible describes our relationship to Jesus as that of a bride and bridegroom (Matthew 9:15; Ephesians 5:32). True romance is designed to lead to and grow within a marriage commitment (Genesis 2:24) and should be rooted in sacrificial love (Ephesians 5:22, 25–28).

Any number of things could make finding true love, according to God’s design, difficult. Here we will focus on a few big obstacles that we face:

Thinking there is only one “right” person for us. This is a lie that can keep us fearful that we’re settling for less than the best. Waiting for one’s perfect “soul mate” to show up can be a long wait. Whomever we choose to marry becomes the “right” one for us, because we’ve made a lifetime commitment to that person. The Bible has narrowed the field: our true love must be a believer who is living for the Lord (2 Corinthians 6:14–15); beyond that, God will provide wisdom and discernment (James 1:5). Wise, godly people who know us well can also provide guidance in finding true love.

Thinking that a person will or can fulfill us. Only God can truly fulfill us, so we don’t have to find romantic love to have a sense of fulfillment! None of us is perfect, and to expect another imperfect human being to meet every need is unrealistic, unhealthy, and can only lead to disappointment.

Not being willing to change or grow. It’s easy to imagine the kind of person we would love to be in love with, but how much effort do we expend in becoming that kind of person ourselves? We all have our own issues that we must address with God’s help in order to be the kind of people He desires us to be. It can be tempting to think that finding true love will magically solve those issues. But being in a close relationship with someone will not fix our problems; it is more likely to expose them more. This can be a rewarding part of the relationship, as iron sharpens iron (Proverbs 27:17), if we are willing to change and grow. If we’re unwilling to change, the relationship will be strained and could eventually be destroyed. This does not mean that every personal issue must be dealt with before we get married. Rather, we should get into the practice of asking God to show us what things need to be cleaned out of our lives (Psalm 139:23). As we become the people God wants us to be, we will be better suited for whatever relationships are in store.

Thinking it’s too late to find true love. Finding true love and getting married is not to be taken lightly. It is better to be cautious than to make a quick and reckless decision. Three times, the Song of Solomon warns, “Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires” (Song of Solomon 2:7; 3:5; 8:4). God’s timing is always best.

We know that God cares about our desire to find true love. When we fully surrender that desire to Him, we release the burden of trying to make true love happen ourselves (Matthew 11:29–30).

Love is an essential quality of God, and He shows us in the Bible how real, true love works. Redefining love or trying to find it outside of God’s design is asking for frustration and disillusionment. Surrendering our desires to God, submitting to His will, and finding our fulfillment in Him are the keys to finding true love. “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37:4).


Monday 7 May 2018

What is the purpose of Your Life?


Exist to Glorify God
  • 1 Corinthians 10:31 "Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God."
  • Romans 15:5-6 "Now the God of patience and consolation grant you to be likeminded one toward another according to Christ Jesus: That ye may with one mind and one mouth glorify God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ."
 
Strive to help people develop a heart for God
  • Matthew 22:35-37 "Then one of them, which was a lawyer, asked him a question, tempting him, and saying, Master, which is the great commandment in the law? Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind."
  • Deuteronomy 6:5 "And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might."
    • Jesus Christ linked the two greatest commandments together. The first is not any more possible without the second, than the second is without the first
    • (1 John 4:20 "If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?")
    • This wholehearted devotion to God is the beginning of everything and produces a right relationship to others. Christ was not talking about religions, but relationships!
    • Crowdselling Your Inventions




    Through evangelizing the unbeliever, edifying the saints, and employing the soldier.
  • Collaborative Solutions Open Innovation Simplified
  • Ephesians 4:11-12 "And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers; For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ:"




Sunday 9 April 2017

How Does The Bible Define True Wealth And Riches?

 How to discover the simplicity of making riches
One of the hotly debated issues in our society concerns the issue of riches and wealth. The vast majority of people believe that to be wealthy, you must become rich by accumulating large sums of money. Some believe being wealthy is a result of hard work and sacrifice. Others believe being wealthy is a result of taking advantage of someone else. Some Christians believe that if you are not wealthy,


Friday 7 April 2017

I wish Prince Kc Nelson happy Birthday in Christ Jesus

 
Prince Kc Nelson

 Psalm 36: Deceived by Sin or Delighted in God?

David was also a man who was delighted in God. In Psalm 37:4 he wrote, “Delight yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart.” We see the same emphasis in many other psalms (e.g., 5:11-12; 16:11; 27:4; 31:19; 32:11; 33:1; 34:8). It is certainly a major emphasis in Psalm 36. We don’t know what the circumstances were that prompted David to write this psalm. The title identifies David as “the servant of the Lord,”



Sunday 26 March 2017

How to move From Condemnation to Righteousness: A Christian Reading of Deuteronomy

The apostle Paul asserted that the Mosaic or old covenant bore “a ministry of condemnation,” whereas the new covenant in Christ bears “a ministry of righteousness” (2 Cor 3:9).1 The author of Hebrews added that Jesus’ new covenant mediation “makes the first one [i.e., the old covenant] obsolete” and “does away with the first in order to establish the second”


Why Pornography is a destructive tool?

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1. Pornography hinders the mission of God in our own lives.

God has much work he wants to do through his people. He does not employ perfect people in his kingdom; every believer, all those who have been given a new nature (2 Corinthians 5:17), must still battle with the “old man” on a daily basis (Colossians 3:9–10). We yearn to shed our sin,


Who are The Underdogs and Earthen Vessels? (Deuteronomy 8:11-18)

The Biblical Perspective

As I have studied the Bible, I have noticed that perhaps my tendency to cheer the underdog is not so strange after all. I have gradually come to the realization that most of the people who play key roles in the Bible could be described as underdogs. People who really didn't have much going for them. People who really didn't have it together enough to come out on top.
Childless women. Old men. The youngest sons. Cowards. Stutterers. Daydreamers. Shepherds. Murderers. Slaves. Prostitutes. In fact,


Saturday 25 March 2017

12 Ways to Make Marriage Fun and Extra Sweet Again

 


I previously posted this several years ago, before we were empty-nesters. I believe more in it today than I did then. Sadly, as someone who studies marriages, I see more and more marriages that are just going through the routines of marriage without really enjoying the journey. At the same time, I do know couples who have learned how to make their marriage work for the good of both spouses and


How Do I Get My Wife to Love Me Again After Falling out of Love?



The title is deceiving. I admit that. You can’t “get” anyone to love you. How that occurs is a mystery. (And, we’ll end this post in mystery.)
But, I wanted you to find and read the post if you need the help.
In working with marriages in distress I’ve discovered most men have injured the women in their life emotionally,


How to Encourage the Man in Your Life to Get the Best : Encourage Him at Work

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One friend had a tough decision to make. After a long job hunt, she and her husband had narrowed it down to two options:  her hometown, or his.  Each desperately wanted to settle near their own family and long-time friends, but the two cities were 3000 miles apart.
They chose his. “Here’s the thing,”


Thursday 23 March 2017

Should a married couple separately attend two different churches?

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Although some couples decide to keep attending their own churches to retain their preferred denominations, there is a risk attached to this arrangement. Practically speaking, it’s unlikely for a family to plug into two different churches and grow in fellowship with two different groups of people; most likely, only one or neither parent will become highly involved in church life.
With children in the home,


Is it Okay and proper for a Christian to Change Denominations for the Person You're Dating?

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A Protestant loves a Catholic. A Pentecostal loves a Methodist. A Muslim loves a Presbyterian. A Jew loves a Buddhist. On both sides, parents are freaking out, and the couple is getting tired of going to each other’s churches. Someone has to make a decision.
Should one person switch denominations?


How to Overcome the Fear of Singleness and Live Happily

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 Have you ever wondered if you’ll be single forever? Perhaps you’ve agonized over whether perpetual singleness is God’s will for



The 5 Ways Your Abusive Relationship Impacts Your Children

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I remember him, that little boy with curly hair. He’d sit quietly in class, fiddling with his fingers all the time.
One day, it happened. It started as a small argument between him and the girl sitting next to him over an eraser, and before we knew it, it escalated quickly. The boy punched the girl repeatedly until her nose started bleeding. He said, “Boys can hit girls.” After that day, I never saw him again.
Back home, I could hear our moms talking about how the poor kid was from a broken family,


What Is True Definition Of Passive Aggressive Behavior?

 Have you ever had someone go belly-up when you asked them to do something?



How To Discover The 20 Good Character Traits Essential For Happiness

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“In temper he was Earnest, yet controlled, frank, yet sufficiently guarded, patient, yet energetic, forgiving, yet just to himself; generous yet firm.”
“His conscience was the strongest element of his nature. His affections were tender & warm. His whole nature was simple and sincere – he was pure, and then was himself.”


How To Deal With Long Distance Relationship? 20 Ways To Stay Connected And Close

long distance relationship

 So you’re involved with this amazing person.

He is everything you want in a love partner. She is so exciting, loving, and beautiful.
When the two of you are together, it’s magical. You want to spend every moment together learning more about each other and


How To Rekindle Your Relationship And Fall In Love Again More Deeply

 
Stop reading for a moment, and think back to the first few weeks after you met your spouse or love partner.
Actually try to visualize an early date where you were cuckoo for CoCo Puffs about this amazing person. And they felt the same about you.
Remember how it felt falling in love, how happily distracted you were,


What is unconditional love?

 

Have you ever been in a relationship where you felt it was the other person’s job to make you happy, to meet all of your needs, to understand you and know what you want without asking?


UCHENNA C. OKONKWOR: How to Use This Powerful Words Of Encouragement to...

UCHENNA C. OKONKWOR: How to Use This Powerful Words Of Encouragement to...:   Sometimes we wake up in the morning, and before our feet hit the floor, we know the day is careening downhill fast. Life pummels us w...