The Scriptures urge husbands and wives to love each other, but the Scriptures focus on different ways of accomplishing that due to gender differences.
Eph.5:25-30 Paul focuses the husband on valuing his wife as Christ values the church by caring for her and
her needs.
1 Pet. 3:7 Peter focuses the husband on being considerate of his wife and her concerns
Eph.5:22-24 Paul focuses the wife on following her husband and respecting him.
Tit.2:4 Paul focuses the wife on keeping her “affections” turned toward her husband, children, and home.
“Biblical Love” (agape) = “valuing others as God values them and then sacrificing yourself for them”
How your wife can feel loved and valued by you, her husband:
1. Her purpose in relating and communicating is to sense and feel she is valued and loved by you,
A woman wants to be touched emotionally, she wants to "feel loved” by you, her husband. She wants to feel that she is the most important person in your life under the Lord. She wants to feel close to you.
Women communicate to build relationships, men communicate to share information or solve problems.
a. A wife senses and feels loved by you when
1) She senses that you want to be with her
You need to give emotional signals that you want to be with her. You should greet her and give her attention when she comes home or she comes into your presence. You should tell her you are glad to see her accompanied by a warm kiss and/or a hug. Tell her you are glad to see her.
When you go places together you should make sure that you first take into consideration any needs she may have.
2) She senses you value talking with her
Take a moment and focus your attention on her whenever she is speaking to you. Keep focusing on her for as long as she is speaking.
This is especially important because details are important to women and they want to share them with their husbands. If their husbands make the mistake of not paying attention, getting impatient with all the details, or trying to speed up the conversation, women do not feel valued. Giving you details is part of how she communicates. She is sharing her feelings in those details.
3) You should give her regular opportunities to share her concerns with you, which makes her feel close to you.
Wives want to share their concerns with their husbands on a daily basis.
a) These concerns involve issues outside her marriage that are on her mind
such as extended family, school, work, friends, and the like and the pressures and fears she feels as result of these.
b) These concerns involve issues regarding her interaction with you, her husband, your behavior toward her, household problems, and any children you might have.
A wife feels close to her husband when she is able to share with him her concerns in these areas and she feels that he is listening with a sympathetic ear.
She is “bridging to you” as she unloads her concerns from her heart and mind to her husband who will help carry those concerns.
It is like building a bridge to you and then carrying her concerns over that bridge which she then shares with you. Those feelings should be important to you simply because they are your wife’s concerns.
They are to be treasured and validated by such assurances as “I can see why you feel that way” and “That must be difficult for you to cope with” and the like.
She does not want a quick solution no matter how good that solution is. She is sharing her concerns so you can sympathize with her, not solve it. Solutions are for later.
If you listen carefully and try to understand her concerns, she will feel loved by you and will feel close to you.
As her husband you need to ask her questions to clarify her concerns and to understand what specific issues she is concerned about.
When she shares her concerns (and even fears) about your relationship (i.e. “we are not spending enough time together”) don’t feel that she is attacking you. She is not. Don’t defend your actions and don’t try to solve it right then. Try to see things from her perspective and listen. That does not mean her perspective is correct about you and her relationship. She is not trying to share objective facts, she is trying to share her feelings and concerns.
Her feelings are not validated when they are pushed aside for a quick solution or by a quick defense. Wait for her to approach you for a solution or suggest it at another time. He should make sure he really understands what she is concerned about.
You should pick one or two things that she has concerns about in regard to your behavior and make a change. Over a few weeks she will begin to respond to your demonstration of love to her in making changes. If you have constructive criticism for her, wait until another time and then talk with her about it.
Sometimes your wife may feel “out of sorts,” then just sit with her and hold her.
2. Women perceive and communicate wholistically, men perceive and communicate compartmentally.
Your wife will tend share her feelings with sweeping statements such as “If our marriage keeps going on like this, we will not even know each other in a few years” or “you are never home anymore.” These sweeping statements are statements of how she feels about what is happening. Specifics are behind them, but she may not always be able to articulate why she is feeling the way she is.
Women tend to look at things wholistically, when one thing is out of joint the whole thing is out of joint. Men tend to see things compartmentally. A whole thing is made up of parts, which can have one part out of joint when the others are not.
For example:
A woman sees a time period such as an evening as a whole and may say to her husband “you didn’t talk to me last night.” She means he didn’t sit down and talk with her for an hour during the evening so she felt she had been heard and loved.
Men see time compartmentally and may respond “we did talk.” He means that he talked with her for ten minutes here and twenty minutes there and another ten minutes here and another twenty minutes there, adding up to one hour that night.
Women see time in blocks. Your wife will want to have an uninterrupted block of time with you, an evening or a day rather than wanting “some of the time” during an evening or a day. Give her uninterrupted time to be with you and choose other times to enjoy your hobbies. She will appreciate this.
Ask her questions to clarify her concerns and to understand what specific issues she is concerned about.
Women see their marriage relationship in the center of their lives.
A woman sees her relationship with her husband and children in the center of her life. The Lord is the very center around which she, her husband and children revolve. Then there is everyone and everything thing else. If she feels her relationship with her husband is out of sync, her whole world is out of sync.
Men see their marriage relationship as the most important part of their lives.
A man sees his relationship with his wife as the most important person in his world. “My wife and I and our children, then my career, and my friends, etc.” If he feels his relationship with his wife is out of sync, he can still feel that his whole world is not out of sync, but one part is, the most important part, but still one part.
Women see their husbands as their best friends, in a different way than men do.
Women and men both talk of being “best friends” when they get married, but their ideas of best friends are very different. Her idea is spending time together sharing their innermost thoughts and concerns (a confidant). This is how she is used to relating with her friends.
His idea is pizza, Dr. Pepper and a movie (a companion). This is how he relates to his friends. One is not right and the other wrong. They are both good.
The solution is to do both and understand how each enjoys it.
How a husband desires to be loved and valued by you, his wife:
1. His purpose in relating and communicating is to sense that you, his wife respects him and appreciates all that he does for you, the home, the family, and for society.
A man feels valued and loved when he is respected for his character, his abilities, and what he has accomplished by those that he loves.
A man feels valued and loved when he is appreciated for all that he does by those that he loves.
A husband wants to feel that his wife appreciates the burden he carries and the sacrifices that he makes for her as he works at his career. Husbands feel a big burden to provide for their family and they want to feel respected and appreciated for it.
This does not mean that wives do not carry as great a burden and responsibility, but wives do not feel valued when they are appreciated for this as husbands do.
a. He senses and feels loved by you, his wife, when
1). You compliment him for working hard to provide for you and your children.
Again, this does not mean that you do not carry an equal burden or responsibility, it is just that he feels appreciated when you compliment him for it; you feel appreciated when he listens and validates you. If he listens to you, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have concerns also. It is just that sharing his concerns with you, does not make him feel valued, being complimented does.
2) You defend him, his abilities, character, and the like against anyone he mentions who is criticizing him.
If he shares with you how someone criticized him, you should stand verbally at his side and support him.
3) You compliment him for the things that he enjoys which show his abilities.
Men love to “accomplish” something and then express verbally that accomplishment. This makes them feel valuable. To “accomplish” often involves career, hobbies, interests, and the like.
He says, “I just designed the ultimate web page for my company.” “I shot ten free throws in the basket in a row!” “I just fixed the door that was squeaking.”
These are not egoists looking for compliments, but men expressing their accomplishments!
As he validates your feelings, you should validate his accomplishments. “That’s great, honey, that is an awesome web page.” “Shooting ten three throws in a row, is not easy!” “Thanks for fixing that door, it is nice to have you around to fix things.”
Remember, when a husband announces some small task that he has accomplished around the home, a woman may feel that if she compliments him she is slighted because he is being complimented for something she does everyday. But she must see this as unrelated to her efforts and as a way to make him feel loved and appreciated.
4) You compliment him regularly for what he is doing or has done rather than exclusively focusing on what he hasn’t done.
This balances out your sharing of concerns about what he is not doing in your relationship or around the house. This makes a man feel like a winner, not a failure and he will often want to get better.
5) You ask for his advice at times and then follow it. A man loves it when someone asks him for his advice or to solve a problem. This makes him feel valuable.
6) You respect his need for some “downtime” to isolate himself from everyone in order to replenish his energy.
Women generally replenish their energy through conversation, men through isolation. Women should not feel neglected by their husbands if he is spending time with her regularly and then wants to spend some time alone as well.
Principles of Mutual Open and Honest Communication:
1. It is important that you communicate with your mate if you have a major conflict with him or her. Holding onto your anger is sinful. Suppressing anger is not healthy. Using humor to attack or share your displeasure is destructive not constructive.
Gently and lovingly share how you feel; that’s important. Choose the right time. Speak directly and personally. Be honest.
2. Accept and validate each other’s views and perceptions about an issue as important because each of you are the husband or wife of the other.
Because your wife feels strongly about an issue, it is important. Because your husband feels a certain way it is important. Whether it is true or false is not the issue when it comes to communicating, only when it comes to solving the problem.
3. Don’t use accusatory language when you have a conflict, such as “You don’t love me” or “You hurt me.”
Rather say, “When you do that (speaking of a habit you wish he or she would not do) or did that (speaking of a particular action) it makes me feel unloved or devalued, or it hurts me…”
4. Don’t be harsh. Be gentle. Prov.15: 1 “A gentle answer turns away wrath.”
5. Always affirm the other person reminding him or her that you accept him or her as he or she is and love them. Affirm first, then bring constructive criticism.
6. Focus on your desired expectations or positive changes rather than on what is negative. “It would be wonderful, if you…” rather than “I hate it when you…”
7. Try to put yourself in the shoes of the other person. Think about what he or she is going through and what trials and struggles he or she is facing.
8. Before you bring something up, ask yourself, “What have I done to contribute to my husband/wife behaving this way?” (Examine your own eye for a log before you look for a stick in the eye of your mate - Matt.7)
Practicing these simple principles will help you develop a relationship in which you show love to your husband or wife and have open and honest communication!
But Noah found grace in the eyes of the
LORD. ( Genesis 6:8 )
My Dear in Him,
Please follow me to study this words of hope from
the beginning to the end of the messages so you can found grace in the eyes of
The Almighty Father in obedience to The Divine direction to His prophet.
The word “grace” appears for the first time in the Bible in this verse. Noah
lived in the midst of the most heinously evil society the world had known, but
because he had found grace, God favored him with personal instruction about the
coming catastrophic judgment and the details for a new beginning on earth.The language of Genesis 6:8 gives us insight into Noah’s character. “Found” is a simple active perfect verb, not a passive one. Thus, Noah found favor—grace—in God’s eyes because he was actively looking for it. Likewise, Adam found no helpmate from among the animals that was suitable for him (Genesis 2:20), and Noah’s dove did not find rest for the sole of her foot (Genesis 8:9). Laban did not find his household images that Rachel had stolen and hidden (Genesis 31:35), and Hilkiah the priest found a book of the law of the Lord given by Moses
(2 Chronicles 34:14-15). God could have used a passive verb in reference to Noah, but He did not.
What can we learn from the life of this great man?
Evidently, God intended for us to know this key factor: Noah’s life was righteous—in spite of the horrible condition of the world of his day. He was looking for God’s direction and for the answers to his heart’s cry. Noah wasn’t merely hanging around waiting for the inevitable destruction that he sensed must come as a result of the awful rebellion that surrounded him. Noah was anticipating a response from God—and when God finally did give him instruction, Noah “found” the favor that he sought!
Captain of Industry
Many centuries later, God warned Ezekiel of future judgment that would happen to the land of Israel because of its wickedness. God identified three men—Noah, Daniel, and Job—as examples of the best “righteous” men in history (Ezekiel 14:14, 20). If that comparison has any meaning, Noah was much more than a mere chance recipient of God’s grace.
Job was “the greatest of all the men of the east” (Job 1:3). His livestock resources (mainly those for caravan duty) were enormous. That certainly meant that he was a successful trade broker and possibly a source for prized stock. He had multiple houses and land—so much so that “bands” from nearby nations were necessary to destroy his wealth.
God had labeled Job “my servant...there is none like him in the earth, a perfect [blameless] and an upright man, one that feareth God, and escheweth [shuns] evil” (Job 1:8). Job was much more than a “nice guy.” He was probably the wealthiest man of his day, and yet he was of such godly character that God used him to teach Satan a lesson!
Daniel was one of the king’s descendants and nobles from Judah taken captive by Nebuchadnezzar (Daniel 1:3). The account of Daniel and his three godly friends is well known among Christians, but the young adult experiences of Daniel often overshadow the long life that he led as the leader of the “scientists” (learned men) of that day. He was commissioned as a “great man” by Nebuchadnezzar and “sat in the gate of the king” (Daniel 2:48-49). Daniel served in some form of senior political and advisory position for six kings over some 70 years. Not bad for a captive!
God identified Daniel as a “man greatly beloved” (Daniel 10:11). He was privileged to have unusual spiritual insight, which he could have used to his personal advantage. But he always made it clear that he was gifted by God’s grace—to whom he always gave credit. Furthermore, God used Daniel to record several of the most remarkable prophecies in all of Scripture. Scholars are still discussing the book of Daniel. He was a significant person indeed!
If the comparisons of the righteous men listed in Ezekiel 14 are to be genuine comparisons, Noah must have been a person of significance in his region—if not well known throughout the world of his day. He clearly possessed or had access to the resources and skills needed to accomplish the monumental task that was assigned to him. Since God’s instructions to build the Ark are somewhat general, it is not beyond reason to assume that Noah ran an architectural and contracting business of some kind.
The pre-Flood civilization would certainly have been advanced enough for such an enterprise. The evolutionary cloud has mesmerized most of the world into relegating the “ancient” world into some sort of pre-human existence—living in caves and grass huts with animal skins for clothing. The Bible paints a much different picture! There were cities during Noah’s day, as well as developed technology that included metallurgy and the skills to build and market musical instruments (Genesis 4:17-22). Somebody had to construct the habitations for the growing population, and someone had to coordinate the distribution and development of those manufacturing places that produced the products needed by that society.
The world of Noah was very wicked, but it functioned with much the same needs as our current world. When the Lord Jesus wanted to emphasize the suddenness of the destruction in the coming end-times judgment, He did it by drawing a comparison with the “ordinary” life of the populations around Noah.
And as it was in the days of Noe, so shall it be
also in the days of the Son of man. They did eat, they drank, they married
wives, they were given in marriage, until the day that Noah entered into the
ark, and the flood came, and destroyed them all. (Luke 17:26-27)
Noah was an important man in his day. Whether he was a general contractor,
an architect, or a business baron is pretty much an educated guess. But the
fact that he found grace is important. Noah was fully dedicated to the
work of God during his life.Walked with God
The Bible says that Noah was one of only two men in all of history who “walked with God” (Genesis 6:9). The other is Enoch, who may be more well known since he was taken up into God’s presence without dying (Genesis 5:24). Efforts by some to portray Noah as a bumbling, drunken hypocrite are simply not true. God’s commentary is that Noah was “just” and “perfect” (upright, without blemish). The Creator entrusted him with a monumental task that is unique in all of history.
Noah was “just.” That simply means that he was known for his equitable dealings with others. Even in the wicked world that disgusted the Creator, Noah was “justified” in his dealings. He charged reasonable prices for his work. He gave a good product (whatever it was) to those who employed his services. His honest dealings gave rise to his influence in the community. He was proven to be a man of integrity (Genesis 7:1).
Noah was “perfect.” That precious reputation, at least from God’s perspective, means that he was a man without condemnation. His “just” dealings resulted in a “blameless” record. Whatever the wicked people of his day may have said behind his back, they knew that Noah was above reproach. Just as folks today often resort to rumor-mongering and distortion of facts to cover their own guilt, those around Noah no doubt employed some of the same practices to discredit righteous Noah. He may well have had that kind of treatment, but God saw that he was “perfect.”
Preacher of Righteousness
Peter called Noah a “preacher of righteousness” (2 Peter 2:5). Think of what that means in the context of Genesis 6! The whole earth was “filled with violence” and “every heart” only thought of evil. The social milieu must have been a real mess. Yet Noah had the guts to stand up publically for the righteous behavior that just about everyone else openly and loudly rejected.
Perhaps his extended family members, and even some or most of his employees, were under his influence. But by the time the judgment of God fell, only Noah, his wife, and three of their sons and their wives were willing to follow his leadership into the Ark. Many would consider a ministry with such results a failure today, and yet God insisted that Noah’s faith not only “saved” his family but the future world from extinction (Hebrews 11:7)!
We are not told in Scripture what Noah preached about. Enoch (the other man who walked with God) preached about the return of the Lord in judgment (Jude 1:14-15). Noah may well have preached about the coming judgment of the Flood and the desperate need of the world’s people to turn back to their Creator for salvation. Whatever he may have preached and however he implemented his heart’s desire, Noah was labeled a “preacher of righteousness” by the only Judge that ultimately counts.
God’s grace is always available. It is not hidden from anyone. But it must be “found” by God’s servants as we “come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need” (Hebrews 4:16).
My Most Beloved,
If you look for God with your whole heart you will find Him and He
will remove that affliction out of your life, family, marriage and business.
God is great and also the wisest personage in the
universe. Your decision to look for Him today as the solution to the problems
that have weighed you down in this life is the only key to the problem.
You might be among those who are searching for God but
not with your whole heart. You might also be searching for God and at the same
time going to the places you know from your heart that is not pleasing to God
Almighty.
God is everywhere you go though not accessible from all
places you have fixed your heart for the solution to your needs.
So many people have looked for this God through many
gods of various religions and yet they are still confused of life and why they
even came into existence.
Others have believed that joining different kinds of
Self Realization organizations is the key to actualize and realize what they
are looking for.
I have seen others who are tired of other gods of other
people but now they have decided to create their own gods to worship. Can a man
create God?
Yet many men have created gods and deceived you to
worship them.
Many are calling upon the names of other gods they do
not know about simply because they want to try a certain kind of worship and see
how it can be with them. Some others are
busy looking for a place to discover another strange god which is not yet
discovered by any other man. If we move
a little into the Bible book we will discover the exact message of God
concerning searching and developing gods in any other scientific method which
the Bible rightly stipulated, “Thou shalt have no other gods before me.
Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any
likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath,
or that is in the water under the earth:
Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve
them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the
fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that
hate me;
And showing mercy unto thousands of them that love me,
and keep my commandments.” – EXODUS 20: 3-6.
God is warning you from this portion of the scripture
to stop developing any form of worship that will
entice you to worship other gods.
God is also warning you in particular to remove and
throw away those gods you kept in secret places which men do not know you are
worshipping.
Stars and other things in the skies are not made to be
worshipped by The Almighty Father and the Creator of universe. God commanded
you also never to worship gods of woods, silvers, gold and iron.
God
spoke to us through Moses and said. “And
the LORD commanded me at that time to teach you statutes and judgments, that ye
might do them in the land whither ye go over to possess it.
Take
ye therefore good heed unto yourselves; for ye saw no manner of similitude on
the day that the LORD spake unto you in Horeb out of the midst of the fire:
Lest
ye corrupt yourselves, and make you a graven image, the similitude of any
figure, the likeness of male or female,
The
likeness of any beast that is on the earth, the likeness of any winged fowl
that flieth in the air,
The
likeness of any thing that creepeth on the ground, the likeness of any fish
that is in the waters beneath the earth:
And lest
thou lift up thine eyes unto heaven, and when thou seest the sun, and the moon,
and the stars, even all the host of heaven, shouldest be driven to worship
them, and serve them, which the LORD thy God hath divided unto all nations
under the whole heaven. - Deuteronomy 4:14-19
God is angry with you as you are bowing down to them
and this is the source of those problems that refuses to go out of your life.
The Almighty Father does not want you to worship the gods of your land.
Some people do carry the gods of their lands in wooden
form to another country for worshipping purposes but The Almighty Father cannot
be carried in a wooden form because He is accessible from any place and any
condition you can call Him in truth and in Spirit wholeheartedly.
There is no good gods in seas and oceans. There is no
marine good gods that is capable to do what Almighty God cannot do for you.
He warned you never to bow down to any of them. Your
destiny is purely in the hand of The Almighty Father. None of your blessings
comes as a result of worshipping idols.
God is jealous and will not be happy if you are giving
the glories that are due to His Most Holy Name, Jehovah to other gods of
nations and other gods who have ears but cannot hear.
If you believe me today, and decide to drop those gods
you are serving and to come to The Almighty Jehovah through His Son, Jesus
Christ.
The
Bible warned, “As
many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent. Behold,
I stand at the door, and knock:
if any man hear my voice, and open the door,
I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.
To
him that overcometh will I grant to sit with me in my throne, even as I also
overcame, and am set down with my Father in his throne. He that hath an ear, let him hear what the
Spirit saith unto the churches. The Revelation of Saint John 3:19-22.
Why not decide right now as you are reading this
message and give your entire life to your Creator so it shall be well with you,
your family and all your businesses?
Will you continue to serve the gods that demands for
the blood of your children for ritual purposes and sacrifices so as to bless
and protect you?
Will you serve the gods that takes away your fertility
in other to give you unrealistic financial blessings and fame?
Reason well before you go.
God is telling me that some group of people is trying
to initiate you into a cult, an occult group, a satanic system of worship.
Please beware and run away for your dear life so you
will not regret the final outcome of it.
There is nothing absolutely good in Satan. He is a liar
and father of all liars.
If you believe this message is for you in particular
and you wants to be saved before it is too late. Why not call my attention for
my direction to establish your faith in Jesus Christ?
Accept and Confess the name of Jesus Christ so He shall
come into your life and be your God as you have totally dropped all form of
other gods with sincere heart.
Jesus
saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the
Father, but by me.If ye had known me, ye should have known my Father also: and from henceforth ye know him, and have seen him.- JOHN 14:6-7
Am available to assist you to develop your faith in God
and also to pray with you for instant divine solution to those problems that
has taken you far and wide without hope for solution.
“And thou, Solomon my son, know thou the God of thy
father, and serve him with a perfect heart and with a willing mind: for the
LORD searcheth all hearts, and understandeth all the imaginations of the
thoughts: if thou seek him, he will be found of thee; but if thou forsake him,
he will cast thee off for ever. - I CHRONICLES 28:9.
God bless you for giving a listening ear to this
message of God that is specially made for you today for your upliftment.
If you are moved by the Spirit of God to
support this work. Please don’t hesitate to tell us of how you are led by God
to assist. Or you can send us your Check to our office below for our mission to
Africa and building of schools for Orphans and Orphanage .
We need an offering and a monetary donation
motivated by the Spirit of God for the poor and less privileged because God
loves a cheerful giver.
Please
kindly send us Check of the amount placed in your heart by the Spirit of Most High
GOD JEHOVAH to- Bishop Uchenna Celestine Okonkwor
472 Amherst St
Suite 732225
Nashua, NH 03063
U.S.A.
Tel:
781-569-0201.
Alternatively, I will also suggest that you
forward your donation to us for the poor through Our Payoneer Bank Account
details below to make the deposit…
Bank Account Holder: Uchenna
Celestine Okonkwor
Bank Name: Bank Of America
Account #: 00003503352939167
ABA (Bank Routing) #: 061000052
Account Type: CHECKING.
Bank Name: Bank Of America
Account #: 00003503352939167
ABA (Bank Routing) #: 061000052
Account Type: CHECKING.
You may as well send your financial
donation in support of this missionary work through our paypal account at
zionagency@yahoo.com.
You can visit our outreach and ministerial sites below
for perusal to enable you understand our mission practically well. We need up to $2,ooo,000 to facilitate the
schools building project for the poor and less privileged. This will have
primary, secondary and University educational system. We are pleading that you
give us your financial contribution and support as you are capable and also led
by The Spirit of The Almighty God.
God bless you.
Bishop Uchenna C. Okonkwor
472 Amherst St
Suite 732225
Nashua, NH 03063
Suite 732225
Nashua, NH 03063
781-569-0201.
U.S.A.
JESUS CHRIST IS THE LORD.
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